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"Preparation is Key" is a phrase we have all heard but do we really prepare?

I have been around fitness most of my life but after having 3 children I focused on them (which is what we do as moms) and not myself. A light turned on in 2018 when we moved that if I take care of myself, I could be a better person to those that matter to me most. I tracked my eating, gathered workouts, joined a gym, and made me a priority. For 15 months I tracked my eating and stayed consistent in the gym, read books, listened to podcasts and I had joy. I felt good about who I was for the first time in years, and it felt great.

I had a "great" life, a new place to live and a husband and three healthy kids that depended on me and I thought we were untouchable. I thought our lives would cruise forward with bliss; I was wrong. Life turns, flips and stops when we least expect it. In September of 2020 my life did one of those turns. Did it knock me down? Yes. Did I stay down? No. I had my workouts, my family, my friends and most importantly my mental health. We are almost three years out from that sharp turn in our lives and I am still taking care of my three kiddos by keeping my workouts consistent, eating healthy and focusing on my mental health.

We will have pain, we will be disappointed, we will lose but the one thing we have is life.

Don't know where to start? Message me and let's work together to better you for a better life.

- Gretchen

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As I scroll through my social media feed I struggle to cheer on other relationships. When you had something you thought was unbreakable and it breaks, the pieces scatter farther than you would ever expect.

Your view of yourself and others becomes dark in an unfair and tragic way.

This darkness can keep any amount of light from getting into your deepest parts.

There is a darkness surrounding my view of relationships and I am unsure if any light will ever enter.

What did I do? What did I not offer? How did I let this happen? Will I ever trust again? I have no answer to these questions and I may never have any answers. Life is a struggle and what we see through social media, out in public and in the movies is not always reality. When we open up to others and are truly honest we find that we are not alone. When we see others celebrate a milestone we need to remember that behind those pictures of bliss, there are tears, hurt, pain, frustration, sadness and countless moments of self sacrifice. Each day we wake up with an opportunity to live and breath and I will be the first to tell you most of my days I am gasping for air. In my 42 years of life I have seen love, heartbreak, death, and healing in myself and others but that is what life is. The feeling of pain is wanted and needed for true growth. Let the ugly out and find that you are not alone.

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Have you heard the quote "when life knocks you down, get back up" ? Why do we feel we need to get right back up or we tell someone we care about "come on just get up and move on"? We need to find a way to allow ourselves and others to lie in it. Whatever has knocked us down we need to feel all aspects of it. If we are rushing to get up and "get over it" we miss out on the healing that needs to happen while we are down.

My life got flipped upside down about a year and a half ago and I went from a wife, and stay at home mom of three to a single mom of three working full time to support myself and my kiddos, what an insane transition. I found myself multiple times being knocked down and I allowed myself to lay in the pain and allow the healing to happen.

Healing takes time and we are so rushed in todays world to get over it and get it done as fast as we can because we have "places to go and people to see". Have you thought about the fact that maybe those people you are so rushed to "see" would rather see you healed and whole?

Whatever has knocked you down I encourage you to lie there, feel all the feels and find a way to work your way up and out of it. Here are my top five ways to work yourself through the pain.

  1. Find a therapist: Everyone should be in therapy and if you don't think you do, you need to see one the most.

  2. Journal: Get yourself a notebook, notepad, post it or a napkin on the table and get your thoughts down. However small or large they are your thoughts and feelings and they are warranted.

  3. Exercise: I cannot express this enough. If you are not moving your body consistently 3-5 days a week your mind, soul and body will shut down quicker than expected.

  4. Phone in a friend: Find someone you can confide in and be vulnerable. Share your truths and your pain so they may hold your hand and love you through it.

  5. Buy yourself something pretty: You may roll your eyes but treat yourself to something that will make you feel sexy, happy and confident, you deserve it.

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